Tomi Arayomi & Kingsley Okonkwo talk Masturbation, Marriage and Money

The modern world is highly sexualized and getting more so each day, this is no longer strange and what might be out of the ordinary is when a man of the cloth openly talks about an otherwise taboo subject not usually discussed in church. That’s what happened when Pastor Judah Smith discussed masturbation and how it serves him in ministry. When I’m traveling away from Chelsea…I can fantasize about Chelsea and use masturbation as a gift to keep myself focused and not caught up with other women or images or pornography.”

Tomi Arayomi decided to have a conversation with Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo on this subject specifically as it went viral in the United States and because the use of technology means that marital questions have taken on different dimensions as a result. “This felt like an emergent conversation and I wanted to stay in my lane of prophet, prophecy. It touched on ministry and ministry conversations when it touched on the issue of masturbation and marriage especially when it comes to technology.”

Pastor Kingsley is well known and has regular relationship seminars as well as being a marriage counsellor. “Anybody knows that the strongest sexual organ is the mind. That is the main sexual organ. That’s why Jesus went straight for the jugular in  Matthew 5 when he said you have heard don’t commit adultery, but he said I’m calling you to sexual purity. Don’t even allow it to occupy your mind or take over your mind. So sexual purity is different from celibacy. God’s standard and where he’s calling us to is a place where we keep our minds pure. So, when you look at sexual purity from God’s standard it becomes easy to know what is right and what is not right. What pleases God and what doesn’t please him. You actually get defiled from the point of your thoughts and not your acts.”

Okonkwo was also quick to point out that God specifically warned his children about sexual temptation. You know that there’s no other place in scripture he tells a believer to run, no other place. He tells you to stand having done all, resist the devil but the only place he says run is when it comes to sexual temptation. God knows that once you start thinking about sex that the battle doesn’t usually go in your favour, once you start entertaining the thought.

This conversation was interesting especially in light of the unusual topic, so make sure you watch and share it. I’ll leave you with this thought from the popular poet Jackie Hill-Perry…If there’s one thing, I’ve consistently seen draw people away from continuing in obedience to Jesus it’s sexual temptation/sin. It can be intimidating for some and flat out exhausting for most to keep denying themselves of sexual satisfaction. In singleness and in marriage too.




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